Smoldering

By Michelle Purvis


Of course, I left the T-Shirt on his dresser despite the softness of the fabric and the faint hint of his cologne. It was my version of a pacifier when he was away on his long trips I'd wear it to soothe myself to sleep, but now, like the owner, it was an albatross around my neck. If I kept it, like my secret heart wanted to, the pathway to him would be left open and, like my secret heart also knew, it must be severed absolutely with no way back.

So why was my car parked outside his house on a Friday night?

Was I that self destructive? The answer most emphatically, would be “Yes”. Smoking cigarettes for the past 12 years had proven that my well being was not essentially what motivated me.

I popped the cigarette lighter from the dash and lit another Camel. Breathing in the smoke calmed me and solidified my mission, how else could I be truly at peace unless this relationship ended? Unless he felt the emptiness, the nothingness he left me?

The gas cans were easy to get out of the back of my pickup, I just needed to sit tight for another hour until the lights went off for the night.


Copyright ©2011 Michelle Purvis. All rights reserved. Do not reproduce in any form, including electronic, without the author’s express permission.

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Michelle Purvis is aspiring to get more writing on paper rather than leaving the stories in her head where they cannot be shared. She shares her humble abode with her supportive and caring husband and her love starved dog, The Chomp.